..you know those little calendars you have on your desk, when every day you're supposed to take down one little page and see what motto of day is waiting for you..well I have one just like that on my work desk and the other day, the motto was "You can only go forward"...I guess that's right...with the 1st of October in the calendar, it just hit me..I have just another month to go....another month to get ready for my return...so I started already my notebook page "things to do before I go.."..one page is work-related and the other not ;) you know, when you need to get things sorted, get things bought, ger things sold, get things there where you want to have them to be so you can leave with "a clear shield" as my mum uses to say...I know now that there will be million and one things which won't just happen or I won't get time to get to...that's why I love lists - just see where the priorities are..and I love ticking off the items on the lists...the more the better...but at least some...I know I won't get a chance to go for a weekend to Kerry even though I'd love to so much...(but, based on last year, the weather there is now crap anyway, eh?)...that I'll hardly cross the border once more time to get the English feel of things...and more like those..BUT and that is an important 'but', I still know it's not the end of the days and I still can come back to visit...(well, where can you get such a great bargain as in the Sales here, right?)...so at the other side I am not overly worried if I don't get to something..just another reason to come back;)..and even though I love it here, it's just like in the song by U2 (just playing in the background here) ..'a house still doesn't make a home' ...'sometimes you can't make it on your own'.and that I miss something (someone:)....I know, despite the fact I had/are having a great time here the last couple of months, that this is only a transition period...something must come after it...there is a line to be drawn...that those few months served their purpose and I am more there where I wanted to be...in my inner peace...still some tweaking to do... but still some weeks to work on it...but as I see it now, I will be too busy with my "to do list" to get worried about it too much..:) there are things to be done, there are promises to be kept, there are times when you need to move on...to rise to another challenge and give it a chance...give it a try...and even though I know there will be sadness (there always is when you're leaving those who you love, leaving behind things you enjoy) and there will be probably more than one autumnly melancholic heart-talking blog posts, I know that is a part of the process...a part of the change...one of those things I learned here (and that list is endless, I'll maybe tell you one day) is that you can't fool your heart...and that for to be happy you have to do what you feel (just like I felt this post had to be in English)...(I'm tellin' ya, the autumn melancholy already kicked in!!- something to do with the pis*** rain outside??? :))..anyway..I'll just max up the volume on my music player now and get some nice positive tunes in...and maybe even get myself ready and start ticking off the boxes on the "to buy"-part of my list...I can only go forward...see you soon...